Despite the fact that most people believe that having no contact with an ex is the best way to heal, and indeed get to a place where you can objectively assess whether you really want to resume a relationship with an ex, there are some people that cannot seem to maintain the golden rule of no contact, so they stay in contact with their exes with the hopes of getting them back. You can get an ex back with no contact but you will need a few tips in order to avoid ruining your chances. So, without further ado, here are some tips to get your ex back without using no contact.
1. Do not contact them too much – Ever had someone that you know ‘like’ you but you are uncertain about them? If they constantly email/call/text you, you soon become pretty certain that this is NOT the person for you. You start ignoring their contact in the hope that they will ‘get the idea’. Excessive contact comes across as needy and isn’t attractive. Besides that, you soon run out of things to say and the communication becomes less ‘special’. So contact them occasionally (every two weeks) and let the ex contact you in between. Appear in their lives momentarily, and then disappear. This shows that you have a life but that you still enjoy their company. Don’t let them know that you want them back, let them wonder if you do.
2. Make sure your interactions are fun and not emotional – This links to the above point. You have to be FUN. Talking about the relationship and what went wrong drags up bad memories and will probably make your ex feel guilty. Remember – you want your ex to feel GOOD after hearing from you, not guilty. No good can come of relationship talk unless the ex raises it as a way to discuss reconciling. If your ex does choose to bring it up, but you suspect that it has nothing to do with them wanting you back – make light of it.
3. Do not ask too many personal questions – Your ex will eventually tell you what they have been up to, and will do it without feeling as if you are fishing for information. Be smart about what you ask also. If they tell you that they went and saw a new movie, just ask about the movie, and resist asking who they saw it with.
4. Avoid the pitfall of trying to make them jealous – You will be much better off just giving your ex little bits of information on what you have been up to. Mystery is much more attractive than them knowing you have been out dating every night. If you tell them you have been dating other people, they may take that as you trying to manipulate them into feeling jealous, and this will backfire on you. There is a reason for the adage of “silence is golden”.
5. Try to move on even while still in contact with your ex – Do not maintain contact with your ex for the sole purpose of getting them back. This can only lead to emotional turmoil and you will eventually feel resentment towards your ex. This always ends in an emotional meltdown of some sort.
If you follow these tips to the letter, and do not fall for the temptation of getting emotional, you can get your ex back without using no contact. Just take special care to avoid breaking these rules.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Allen_Joe/174185